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Showing posts with label Social Networking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Networking. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Texting dilutes relationships

In our fast-paced world, texting is taking the place of face-to-face social encounters and devaluing our relationships. - AFP Photo

When people communicate with gadgets, rather than face-to-face; we increase the quantity, but perhaps not the quality, of our interactions.

I DON’T want to say something that is so painfully apparent that I get labelled as Captain Obvious, or even worse, as Admiral Apparent; but technology is changing the way we live.

Thank you, Ensign Evident.

Specifically, the way we socially interact is changing, and I’m not talking about our friendships on your favourite social media network. A recent study in the United States showed that more and more people are using their phones not to actually talk to anyone but to text.

The ratio of texts to phone calls was 5-1. In fact, texting is becoming the preferred method to ask someone out. That should come as no surprise, as the alternatives of the awkward phone call, or worse – the sweaty, white-knuckled face-to-face ask-out – are just terrible options; so terrible that it’s a wonder humans could even reproduce prior to the text message.

About one third of those surveyed said that they prefer to ask the person they are interested in to meet in a group setting, rather than meeting for a one-on-one traditional date.

The rationale, besides the obviousness of it being less awkward, is that if they don’t click, they will waste less time, as opposed to several hours on a date.

Which makes it seem that people are like paperbacks which should be judged by their synopsis before one commits to spend time with that person.

But why is texting becoming the way that we socially interact? It seems like the refuge of the introvert, but it’s so widespread that it can’t just be introverts who are choosing this method of communication. Extroverts – those assertive bold individuals that crave and seem to thrive off human interaction – must also be texting, even if it seems to go against their nature.

Why is this? The advantage to texting, even if you’re an extrovert, is that you engage others on your own time and pace. The great thing about texts is you can take the time to get it right, whereas in a face-to-face encounter, the right words may only come at the end of the conversation.

Also, phone calls and speaking face-to-face have the problem where you actually have to listen to the other person, you know ... talk. Even that takes time.

In a text message, first off, most people won’t send you a life story via text. Secondly, if you see a message more than a sentence long, you can simply skim it, or not read it at all and fire back an emoticon.

Not sure what to say? Or didn’t even bother reading? Send that smiley with the grimace, it’s emotionally ambiguous.

If people were telling a happy story, this Swiss army knife of emoticons looks sufficiently pleasant that they’ll think you get it; if the story was tragic, it looks dissatisfied enough that they’ll think you empathise with them. Emoticons are the inauthentic, ineffectual, pre-packaged greeting cards of text messaging.

Does this mean texting is making us all into self-centered introverts? Yes it does.

There’s no other way around it. If texting takes the edge off asking people for dates and conversing, it also takes the edge off rejecting people.

It’s hard to say “no” to someone face-to-face, but over a text message, it’s easy. That’s why there’re so many confrontational people in online forums and message boards on the Internet.

How many people do you argue with in real life? And how many people do you argue with online? If you’re sucked into actually commenting on the Internet, you’ll probably end up arguing with everyone!

If texting makes it easier to interact because the weight of interaction is reduced, it also makes our relationships more fleeting. Take for instance an interaction I had the other night on Steam, a gaming platform. I logged on with a couple of friends to get some online gaming going on. One of them introduced me to a friend, and we added him to our party.

Now when I say introduced, I mean he typed “My friend wants to play”, and he then popped up on the messaging service and said, “Hi”. That was it. He was in.

One of my friends just disappeared – went AFK or “Away From Keyboard” – something that probably wouldn’t happen in real life. It’s not like we’d agree to play squash and then somebody just walked away without telling us, that would be rude. But online, it was accepted.

Then my other friend had trouble with his computer and had to reboot. I ended up playing with the friend of a friend, who I didn’t know at all, except that we’d said hello.

Now that is the great thing about the Internet and texting. We started playing and it was fine, communicating like we knew each other, polite laughter and all. Halfway through the game, I started having trouble with my connection, and thinking it might be a sign (to perhaps go off and write this article!), I exited the game without bothering to sign back in and give an explanation to my new “friend”.

I too had just walked out of the squash game with no explanation, because I knew it wouldn’t really bother the stranger I’d been playing with, and I’m sure it didn’t bother him.

Communicating via text is great, it’s easy, it puts things on our own terms. But maybe human relations were never meant to be that simple, and ultimately, relationships are reciprocal – we get out of them what we put in, and if all we put in are text messages ... then that’s really all we’ll get back.


Big Smile No Teeth by JASON GODFREY
Jason Godfrey can be seen hosting The LINK on Life Inspired (Astro B.yond Ch 728).

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Facebook paparazzi

People should exercise a little consideration and common sense when uploading photos of others. 

I RECENTLY saw some extremely unflattering photos of a friend on Facebook.

One photo shows her at a party with a drink in one hand and a cocktail sausage on a stick in the other. Her mouth is half open as she guides the sausage towards it, and her eyes have a wild, glazed look about them. The caption reads, “Come to Mama!” In another photo, she’s drinking her wine with one eye closed and the other rolling upwards, as she hovers around the half empty platter of sausages. In yet another photo, she’s sitting on a sofa with her blouse unflatteringly bunched up over her stomach, giving the impression that she’s just about to give birth – possibly to a giant sausage.

If you didn’t know this woman, you’d probably mistake her for a humongous wine-glugging sausage scoffer.

Damage

In reality, she’s a moderate drinker of average weight who only ate one sausage that night. But the damage has already been done. The Facebook friends of the woman who posted the photos, many of whom probably don’t know my friend all that well, will have already formed an opinion of my friend just by looking at those photos.

Like who cares what strangers might think about us? Some of you might be saying just about now. And you do have a point, to a certain extent. But what if you’re going for a job interview and the person responsible for hiring you doesn’t know you but remembers seeing you in a Facebook photo stuffing your face and looking as if you like to lubricate yourself way too much? And what if the job you’re after entails operating heavy, dangerous machinery; or dispensing potent medication; or anything to do with air traffic control? Jobs that require a clear head at all times.

All I can say is that you’re screwed. You might as well burn your interview clothes, delete the carefully worded résumé and drown your sorrows in a bottle of chardonnay.

In the same way that celebrities are wary of the paparazzi, who take great pleasure in snapping them falling out of bars and nightclubs in the wee hours of the morning in a dishevelled state, or going to the grocery store for a loaf of bread without any make-up, regular, everyday people now need to be extra careful when someone whips out a camera or an iPhone at a social function.

I have nothing against my photo being taken and subsequently being posted on Facebook, but I wish that people would exercise some consideration and common sense when uploading photos of others.

We all know Facebook is full of narcissistic, egocentric, self-absorbed photographers. We see evidence of their activities in newsfeeds every day. For example, I’ve seen photos of a certain young woman (who shall remain nameless) buying a pair of shoes, photos of her feet in the new shoes, photos of her wearing a dress with her new shoes, photos of her dancing at a party with her new shoes, and photos of her delicately eating sausages and consuming alcohol with her new shoes.

What she doesn’t show you are the photos of her wincing in her bunion-forming shoes after two minutes dancing, photos of her in her new shoes throwing up in the toilet bowl, and photos of her with just one new shoe on, passed out on her bedroom floor …

Such people are usually very careful when it comes to selecting photos that show them in a good light, but when it comes to others, they don’t always accord them the same respect.

Offending photo

Whenever I want to upload a photo that includes other people onto Facebook, I ask myself if those people would be happy seeing themselves as they are depicted. And if the answer is no, I simply delete it. I know it’s easy to remove your tag from a Facebook photo, but the photo still remains online for all to see.

Of course, you could write to your Facebook friend and ask him or her to remove an offending photo. But that would make you sound a bit like a narcissistic, egocentric, self-absorbed twat. And makes you a possible future target for such photographers, who might claim that they’re only having a bit of harmless fun. And besides, where’s your sense of humour?

It would be enough to make you choke on your sausage.


BUT THEN AGAIN
By MARY SCHNEIDER

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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Bloggers doing their bit to champion a good cause

BLOGGER Dr Angelo Nino M. Santos brought his eight-year-old son to visit three children’s homes so that the little boy would appreciate what he had in his life.



“My son Antonio Gabriel was so excited to come.

“He packed his old toys and clothes to be donated to the children here,” he said while at Ramakrishna Orphanage in Scotland Road, Penang.

The visit was in conjunction with the ‘Responsible Blogging 2013: Time To Give Back’ programme.

A total of 40 bloggers visited Rama-krishna Orphanage, Children’s Pro- tection Society and Shan Children’s Home to give away food and other items.

The programme was organised by Crowdpot Sdn Bhd, a social media marketing company.

Crowdpot director Leslie Loh said they planned to help educate bloggers about safe blogging and to achieve one million ‘responsible actions’.

“For example, if each blogger who posted about this event in his or her blog receives about 100 comments, we consider that we have generated responsible action,” he explained.

Dr Angelo, 36, a lecturer at the Allianze University College of Medical Sciences, said it was the first time he was taking part in such a programme.

He said he started blogging in 2007 and his blog mainly focuses on the 3Fs — family, food and fun.

Also present was Penang Health, Welfare, Caring Society and Environ­ment Committee chairman Phee Boon Poh.

Loh said Crowdpot was also giving away prizes for those who helped to blog about the homes.

“The prizes include three iPad Minis sponsored by Crowdpot and six Ninetology Black Pearl 2 dual-core Android smartphones sponsored by Ninetology Malaysia,” he said.

The contest is until March 23.

For details, visit www.responsibleblogging.my. - The Star

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